End result? A slow as hell 48:38 5K over very hilly terrain -- and by "hilly," I mean a 14% incline at one point. Ugh! Add to that Diana's refusal to let me deviate from her predetermined 3:1 run:walk ratio, and my 16 minute pace left me exhausted. They say you're supposed to maintain a "conversational" pace while running -- that is, be able to have a conversation without panting or gasping for air. Well, Diana will confirm that I did indeed keep it conversational... for about the first 8 minutes. After that, the conversation went something like this:
Matt (gasping): They ---- say ----- should ---- be ---- able ta ----- talk but ---- I can't ----Mind you, this is all even more ridiculous than it sounds, as we were literally jogging at about 4 miles per hour. The only time I ran faster than that was when, around 2.5 miles into the run, Diana told me I could rest once we got to that Starbucks up there.
Diana (perfectly fine): Don't talk.
Matt (panting): Why --- can't ---- walk for ---- TWO minutes.....
Diana: No. We can reduce the running time if you want, but you can only walk for one minute at a time.
Matt (dying): Why --- aren't --- you ------- tired!
Diana (not tired): I am tired. I'm just not breathing heavily.
Matt: Wha? Howza?
Diana: I learn breathing techniques in Yoga.
Matt: bzz kjes fp eeee z (gurgle)
Diana: Don't talk. Focus on your form.
Yes, I sprinted 1/10 mile to the Starbucks, doubling my speed to 7-8 mph, because that way I could rest sooner! Diana chastized me for sprinting -- "You shouldn't sprint at the end of your run! You're not going to get any benefit out of it! You're just going to get sore!" -- but I was just happy to finally have a chance to rest.
Shortly thereafter, Diana and I parted ways, as I jogged a final 1/4 mile around my block to hit the 3 mile mark, and she took the bus home.
No, she actually jogged the 2.5 miles home, on top of the 3 she jogged with me, on top of the 2.7 it took for her to jog to my place in the first place!
I hope I am never as crazy as Diana.