Miracle Noodles are Simply Divine!

Last week I came across an intriguing text advertisement atop my GMail inbox. It stated simply, "Miracle Noodles! 0 calories, 0 carbs, www.miraclenoodle.com."

Well played, Mr. Noodle. You have my attention.

Wary, I clicked my way onto the site, where I was greeted with the intriguing slogan, "Imagine a World Where the Noodles Are Calorie Free"; a news report extolling their noodly virtue; a gazillion testimonials praising the Japanese for having the sense to create a zero-calorie noodle out of fibrous plant material; and a money-back guarantee offering to refund all of my hard earned dollars if I did not absolutely love the noodles.

Well, you know what?

I absolutely love the noodles. They're made of a water-soluble plant fiber that simply passes through your body. It has no taste of its own, but rather absorbs whatever sauce you put it in. I ordered the 20-pack of angel hair noodles and I'm already planning my next order. They are very easy to make -- all you have to do is rinse them in hot water for a few minutes and then dry them with paper towels. You then throw it into the sauce and food, and voila!

I have been waiting for something like this MY WHOLE LIFE. You see, fitness and nutrition experts have long known that most people eat the same dozen or so foods regularly. This definitely applies to me -- for years, my diet has consisted of cream-laden coffee for breakfast, tuna and turkey sandwiches for lunch, chicken and rice at night, and the once or twice weekly consumption off an entire "Meat Lovers" pizza or a General Tso's chicken combo with dumplings.

It was quite literally a recipe for disaster.

Some of those meals were fine -- there is nothing wrong with tuna or turkey on whole wheat. But there is something wrong with consuming large quantities of starchy rice at the end of the day.

Indeed, for the past several years, at dinner, I generally have eaten chicken with a packet of Uncle Ben's microwavable 90-second rice. It makes for a filling and tasty dinner, but it's about 500 calories of rice. In other words, it adds up. I have no doubt it has contributed to my half-pound-a-month weight creep over the last several years.

But I can't just eat chicken plain, or with vegetables and nothing else, like some cow or vegan or something equally weird and unnatural.

That's why these Miracle Noodles are indeed so miraculous! For the last couple of nights, I have used this as bedding for my chicken, and I am extremely pleased to report that it makes the meal no less delicious, and get this -- it keeps me full for hours! They taste kind of like rice noodles, except just a bit chewier. I have already lost weight!

Part of me is still suspicious -- how can anything this good have NO calories? Even celery has calories! In recent days my mind has wandered back to the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Elaine found a "fat free" frozen yogurt shop that tasted delicious but was too good to be true. My friends, these noodles are equally too good to be true -- and yet they ARE true!

In other words, I was touched by His Noodly Appendage and I can never go back. BUY THESE DIVINE NOODLES TODAY!

Healthy Meals for Today

0.2 pounds heavier each day?

I don't understand it. I work out, I watch(ish) what I eat, and yet the scale still goes up 0.2 pounds a day. What's the deal?

Guess I just have to be more strict with my diet. Today's plan:

• Hot & Spicy V8 (I swear I am addicted to these)
• Smoothie I just made (berries, protein powder, Greens+, flax seed oil, honey)
• Turkey on whole wheat with hummus (To whomever stole my mustard and mayo: THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY)
• Almonds and raisins (keep them on my desk at work and graze throughout the day)
• Dinner with a friend (don't know where we're going but I'll try to keep it light)

Tomorrow I'll jog another 4 miles, this weekend I'll keep working at the gym... Gotta have faith I guess?

The Inspiring Ali Vincent is the First Female Biggest Loser!

STANDING ON STAGE last night, Ali of the Pink Team looked like a strip of beef jerky: skinny, yes, but all muscle. She lost more weight than everybody else that season, dropping 112 pounds of blubber to become a 122-pound piece of iron. I am thrilled for her.

It is good to see a woman biggest loser. Over the past five years, the men have dominated. That's because they simply have so much more weight to lose. Honestly, when the American public decided to vote Roger into the finale, I thought that Ali might be at a huge disadvantage. She was already tiny when the "on-campus" period of the show ended, and contestants were sent home to fend for themselves for the next six weeks. Roger, on the other hand, still had significant weight to lose. And he had been losing double digits each week.

In the past, every other winner has lost approximately 1/2 of their body weight. This time, however, nobody broke the 50% mark. Roger may have been able to: he started at over 360 pounds. Get below 180? Definitely doable with $250,000 on the line! However, when Roger weighed in, he was only down to 199. At that moment, I knew Ali was a shoe-in. She had lost 99 pounds on the ranch, and now in order to win she only needed to lose a total of 106 pounds. Seven pounds in six weeks? For the most dedicated and intense Biggest Loser competitor in ages? No problem!

Indeed, she ended up losing 112 pounds to finish at a sinewy 122. In the process, she had changed her entire lifestyle and focus. She began to believe that anything is possible. Indeed, as übertrainer Jillian "Beatings Beatings Beatings" Michaels likes to say, "when you connect your mind and your body and your intention, anything is possible."

Ali inspired me to get off my ass this morning and spend an hour at the gym. I did 25 minutes of intense bodyweight and dumbbell exercises, followed by 20 minutes of interval training on the recumbent bike, and afterward, I felt great. I was wearing my technical T-shirt that I got at the Cherry Blossom run, and the trainers there asked me how it was. I told them it was rainy and cold but exhilarating. I love having a race T-shirt! Not only does it make me feel proud, but it also lets other people know that, apparently, I'm a runner! Who would have thought?

I was also inspired to work out by the fact that yesterday at choir rehearsal, someone came up to me and told me that I look "skinny." What? Me? Skinny? Yes, she said, perhaps it was all the running I had been doing. Maybe, I responded, but my weight has basically been holding steady. The people around me nodded: that often happens when people start running, they said.

Well, yes, of course I know that. Muscle builds, fat melts, weight stays the same... but I didn't realize it was happening to me to such an extent that others noticed I look thinner! Anyway, that little bit of encouragement was enough to get me out of bed this morning and into the gym -- if I can look "skinny" after just a couple months of sporadic running and a few strength training sessions, imagine how I might look this summer!

Anyway, take a look at Ali's interview this morning on the Today Show. So inspiring!

Be Inspired by the Biggest Loser Finale TONIGHT! Be there or be FAT!

I would like to implore all of my readers to turn on NBC tonight at 8:00 PM and watch the live grand finale of The Biggest Loser, which has proven to be one of the most sentimental and inspiring shows on television.

Tuesday night has become my "Crying Night." Most of the week, I am impervious to emotional sabotage, a veritable brick facade through which no emotional daggers or spears can penetrate. But on Tuesday night, when the fat people start blubbering because of how horrible their lives have become, or when the newly-thin people start blubbering because of how wonderful they now feel, and when their friends and families start blubbering because of how great it is to have their new-and-improved friend back with them after five months on a Fat Ranch... well, it is impossible for me to remain stoic and calm. (I'm glad I watch the show alone! There's no crying in baseball!)

But that is what this show does to people. It is wonderful because it shows that even though everyone faces much adversity, with enough willpower and emotional support, one can succeed despite the odds. And, wow, have these people succeeded! As of the penultimate show, the four remaining finalists had lost insane amounts of weight, and no longer looked like contestants on The Biggest Loser. I am very eager to see what they look like tonight at the live finale, because since the last show, they have had six weeks to continue to lose weight. Frankly, I don't see how they can drop many more pounds without becoming anorexic or something, but they can all definitely build muscle and tone up. In previous years, formerly 400-pound men have turned into 190-pound musclebound cover models. It is really quite striking.

In addition to simple curiosity about how these people have fared, I also eagerly watch the show each week because it is so inspiring. If these ginormous people can lose so much weight, then surely I, a comparative Munchkin, can get off my ass and go for a jog every now and then.

So, remember, tonight at 8:00 PM EST, you will get to see a real life transformation. It will inspire and amaze you. Check back with Still Waiting tomorrow for a recap.

See Matt Tired... See Matt Wired!

I didn't want to run. I was exhausted. I just wanted to lay down and watch TV. But I forced myself to get out there, ended up running 3.8 miles, and I am so glad I did. It's also the first time I've run with music -- wow! So motivating, so inspiring! I'm never going back.

The Motivating Power of Statistics

SHOW ME A GADGET that can record my heart rate, pace and global position, and I will show you my checkbook. As it turns out, however, some people aren't nearly as brimming with technolust. They just like to lace up and go.

More power to 'em. But in addition to missing out on real-time stats that can help them fine-tune their effort to squeeze the most out of every workout, they also miss out on stats that show encouraging long-term trends.

Take the above table, which displays some of the stats kept by my Garmin Forerunner 305. Last night I walk/jogged 3.4 miles along a very hilly route that I have run several times before. This time, it felt easier (see the previous post for more details).

Today I compared this most recent run to one along the same route one month ago. I am immensely pleased by the results:

It turns out that currently, despite running 11 seconds/mile faster, half a mile longer, and 75 feet higher, my average heart rate was 10 beats per minute lower than it was one month ago! This means I required less effort today than I did last month to push my body farther and faster.

Sometimes I'll borrow a page from my technophobic friends and head out the door with no wires attached. But that's an anomaly, and I'm glad I usually take the time to strap up: Subjective feelings of improvement are great, but objective measurements prove I'm getting stronger. And that's all the motivation I need to keep on improving!

I finally had a great run!

My first post-5K jog around my hilly neighborhood turned out great! I am very pleased to report that my legs neither tightened up nor went numb, and I was able to mostly jog (walking during parts of the uphills) at a conversational pace and maintain a fairly steady pulse, as the graph below shows. FINALLY!!!

New Goal: Drop the 'Law School 30'

I am sick and tired of the 30 extra pounds I have been carrying around since law school. It is time to get rid of them, once and for all.

Higher education has never been good to my waistline. When I graduated from high school, I was 166 -- mind you, I had neither muscles nor endurance, but at least I wasn't fat. ;-)

By the time I was a senior in college, my weight was up to 205. I had gained about 40 pounds -- that's 10 a year, on average. I was tired of it. And so, at the urging of high school chum Ian, I decided to lose it. In 2001, after a summer of hard Body for Life workouts and healthy meals, I had dropped 25 pounds. I was at 178 and feeling great. (And, as the 12-week before/after photo shows, looking pretty good too!)

From 2001 to 2004, I hovered around 185, give or take a few pounds. I didn't eat that clean but I didn't stuff myself on a regular basis. I exercised regularly, often making it to the gym 3-4 times a week, and I ran when I had the chance.

Then law school happened and I threw myself into studying. I stopped exercising as much as I had been, and I didn't pay much attention to what I was feeding myself. Like many law school friends, by the time 3 years were up, I had gained 30 pounds. As this seems to be fairly common, I am officially dubbing it the "Law School 30."

For the last couple years, I have been holding steady around 210. Sometimes I lose five or gain five, but I usually return to 210.

I don't like being 210. I feel gross and out of shape. I don't look as svelte as I like. (NB: It doesn't seem to concern the ladies, but I'd still like to look my absolute best.)

So now that the 5K is over, I am setting out on a quest to get back to my pre-law school weight -- 30 pounds. To that end, I plan to eat healthy and go to the gym regularly, following the Turbulence Training program, as well as maintain a base mileage of around 10 miles a week in preparation for the official half-marathon training I will start sometime in June.

I plan to post my meals in many of the blog entries, so that my readers can see what I am eating and encourage me and keep me on track.

I am confident that if I drop the weight, my running will improve to the point where I could run many many miles without stopping, and maybe one day even experience that elusive runner's high...

Wish me luck!

Today's Meals Cup of low-fat cottage cheese (160) Turkey sandwich on whole wheat (300) Tuna sandwich on whole wheat (300) String cheese (80) Projected Chicken, rice and veggies (700) Protein shake (200) Total: 1740

Workout 30 minutes of bodyweight and dumbbell exercises 17 minutes of interval training on the recumbent bike

Local Man Sets 5K PR; Still Waiting for 'Runner's High'

WASHINGTON, April 6 -- On a windy, rain-soaked morning in our Nation's Capital, a tired yet strong 28-year-old stood in the 5K Run/Walk corral about a block from the Washington Monument. As the bearded redhead hopped up and down, running in place to stay warm before the race began, he still didn't know quite what he was doing here.

"Everyone talks about the adrenaline rush I would get on the morning of the Big Race," Matt told me the next day over a plate of grilled chicken and steamed-in-the-bag vegetables, "but I never got an adrenaline rush. The whole thing was just too surreal. I was on 4 hours of sleep, and all I kept thinking was, 'I'm running a what, now? Who signed me up for this? Why am I not in bed?' I didn't know 8 a.m. actually existed on a Sunday morning!"

But early hours did exist on Sunday, as Matt found out when his cell phone alarm went off at 6, waking him from a fitful slumber that had only taken hold after 1 a.m. He pinned his number (20076) to his long-sleeved technical shirt, downed a cup of orange juice and a handful of Cheerios, and headed out the door. He arrived at the National Mall around 7:30 -- a full 70 minutes before his starting time.

"It appears somebody miscalculated," Matt said, cursing the efficiency of the DC transit authority. "Anyway, it was really neat down there, almost a carnival atmosphere. The whole thing was just like July 4th, except everybody was running!"

Having arrived so early, Matt had no choice but to walk around, sometimes jogging lightly to keep warm. By the time the 5K race was set to start, Matt had been warming up his legs for about an hour.

There was no "On your mark, get set, go!" that Matt had envisioned in his dreams. The only way Matt knew the race had begun was that everyone in front of him started slowly shuffling forward. It took about 90 seconds to cross the starting mats, and then Matt started.

To Walk or Not to Walk

"Everyone had warned me about starting too fast," Matt recalled. "They said I would get caught up in the excitement of running with a thousand other people. They said I should slow down! So I did. But not enough."

MILE 1 | 3:07 + 3:00 + 3:07 + 3:10 = 12:24
MILE 2 | 3:54 + 3:32 + 3:51 + 3:26 = 14:43
MILE 3 | 3:26 + 3:48 + 3:23 + 3:14 = 13:51
0.11  | 1:21                        

Indeed, as evidenced by Matt's unofficial mile splits, he hovered between 4.9 and 5.0 mph for the first mile. That speed, he says, would have been fine had he taken walk breaks from the beginning. But because of his excitement, he felt he was strong enough to run the first mile without walking.

"This was a race," Matt said. "I was supposed to push myself. I would have felt like a total idiot following Galloway's advice and taking walk breaks every few minutes."

However, after pushing himself for a mile, Matt -- who had originally signed up for the 10-mile run -- needed to walk.

"I was strong enough to run the first mile," Matt said. "But then I needed to slow down." For the next mile, he took minute-long walk breaks every 2-3 minutes.

At the 2 mile mark, he decided to try to push himself harder. "I had read somewhere that on a 5K my heart rate should be around 90-95% most of the time. Well, I generally was at around 170 for the few minutes at a time that I could maintain a run, but on my walk breaks I gradually dropped down to 150. I decided that I was going to only walk until my pulse hit 160, and then I'd pick it back up again."

So Matt's walk-breaks grew shorter. And yet, short as they were, whenever Matt walked, something ominous happened...

Battle with the Race-Walkers

"The entire race was a battle between me and the race-walkers," Matt recalled, poking at a microwaved baby carrot. "I noticed them as I ran past in the first mile. And I noticed them again as they walked past at the beginning of the second mile."

For the rest of the race, they would be lingering just behind, in the shadows, waiting to take the lead.

"There's nothing more annoying than a damn 50-year-old woman grinning giddily, holding her elbows high and pumping her arms as she marches past me while I am briefly recuperating at 2.5 mph."

2.5 mph?

"I'm a slow walker."

The battle continued until mile 2.5 or so, when Matt picked up the pace.

"If you look at my quarter-mile splits, you'll notice that the walking basically stopped with a half mile to go. Sure, I walked for a few second here and there, but I really wanted to give it my all."

With a half mile left, he left the race-walkers in the dust.

'Looking Strong, Number 20076!'

"People on the sidelines kept saying, 'You're almost there! It's just around the corner!' And I was still under 40 minutes, and I figured I might actually be able to meet my arbitrary goal of 42ish minutes."

"As I turned the corner, the cheers grew louder. I could see the banner in the distance. I had about a quarter mile left to go, and I vowed to finish without walking. I took off my hat and glasses and just steamrolled forward. My pulse was at 171, 172, 173, and around then I felt my entire body flush. I have felt this before at very high efforts -- I am positive it is my body switching from aerobic to anaerobic."

What does anaerobic energy production feel like?

"Like I said, it feels like a flush is overcoming my entire body. Everything suddenly feels warm -- my arms, my chest, my legs -- it's just different. It comes with a really hard effort, and when I feel that flush, I know I won't last more than another minute or so.

"With about a block to go, I closed my eyes and dug deep inside for the effort to keep going. As I opened my eyes I noticed that I had just passed a camera man -- he had snapped a picture of me as I entered the mental part of the race. Now that's a picture I'll pay money for!

"The finish line was 50 feet in front of me. I heard the announcer say, 'Looking strong, number two-zero-zero-seven-six!' It was like my winning raffle ticket had just been called. 'Yes!' I shouted, pumping my hands in the air. With a final burst and a huge smile, I crossed the finish line."

Matt's final time was 42:29 -- a pace of 13:41. It was his fastest 5K effort to date.

Final Thoughts

"I'm pretty happy with the time," Matt said, finishing his chicken and veggies. "It's about six minutes faster than I had ever traversed 3.1 miles before, and do you know why? Because my calves didn't tighten up at all. The past two months, almost every time I tried to run more than 1.7 miles, my calves would get extremely tight to the point of cutting off blood flow to my peroneal nerves, and then the entire front of my shins and top of my feet would go numb! This time, for whatever reason, that didn't happen. Maybe it was the frequent Stick massages, or maybe it was the flat course, or maybe it was hour-long warm-up. All I know is that finally, my legs worked as they were supposed to."

Matt has signed up for the Detroit Half Marathon on Oct. 19, which he plans to run with his good friend Diana. He already has a general plan for the next 6 months.

"I'm really going to have to focus on weight loss," he said, sipping a glass of filtered water. "I was 182 when I started law school; I'm 212 today. I was essentially running with a 15 pound dumbbell in each hand. Imagine how much easier this would be -- how much faster I could get -- if I just dropped the dumbbells."

Matt plans to consistently eat healthy, add regular strength training to his fitness plan, and exercise at least 5 days a week. He will start "officially" training for the half-marathon sometime in June.

"People ask me why I run, when it is so difficult for me. What they don't understand is that they've already answered their own question: I run because it is difficult. I run because I want to get better at it. It's a noble goal in itself, and it will bring me so many side benefits: more health, more discipline, more confidence. I run because I cannot... and I run because I can."

Matt and Heather after the run

T-minus-10 hours and counting.....

Well, the 5K is tomorrow morning and I am starting to become nervous. Not because I'm concerned about times (I just hope to finish strong, no matter what time it is), but because I'm a little nervous about logistics. I take a bus to where, now? Metro to what? Who? And what do I do when I get there? And the Web site says I have to check my bags by 7:30 am but isn't that just for the 10 Miler at 7:50? The 5K doesn't start until 8:40!

I'm also a little concerned because the forecast calls for lower 40s and rain, and I haven't really run in the rain in a while.

Mostly though, I'm just curious about how my high-maintenance calves will act tomorrow morning. I jog/walked 2.5 miles this morning, mostly downhill, and it turns out they dislike running downhill almost as much as they dislike running uphill! They're like a prissy girlfriend I used to have: everything has to be just so, they need to be massaged twice a day, and they need The Stick on a regular basis.

Speaking of The Stick, I went to my first race expo ever today, and encountered the Stick guys! They were massaging people, sometimes forcibly. My friend Heather refused to fall prey to the Power of the Stick, but I was giddily trying them all out ("This one is the Big Stick, look at how stiff it is! Great for back massages! This one is the Little Stick! Perfect for shin splints!")

The whole thing was a lot of fun. I bought a nifty Nike shoe wallet I've been wanting for a while, and got my race goodie bag (which I haven't really looked through yet). And I heard a talk by Catherine Ndereba, known in the running world as "Catherine the Great" -- apparently one of the best Kenyan women runners ever. Fascinating Q&A session, in which I asked her why Kenyans are so good at running. Her response?

In Kenya, people run everywhere from the time they're kids because there is no good public transportation. Her school was 4 miles away, and sometimes people would run home for lunch, and they'd have to run back fast because if you're late the schools have corporal punishment! So that's 16 miles of frenzied running a day from the time Kenyans are little. Yeah, I'd say that would help breed fast runners!

She signed my race number and let me pose for a picture with her. I told her this would my my First Race Ever, and she seemed genuinely excited for me as she wished me luck!

On that note, it's off to bed for me. Wish me luck. Look for my first ever post-race write-up soon!!!

Apologies to the One Person Fooled

I want to take this opportunity to apologize to the one person who was fooled by my assertion yesterday that I had completed a 5K in 28:13, when previously my best time was approximately 48:00. I'm not going to name this person -- she knows who she is -- but I will say that I fear for the future of crime-fighting in this country, when an expert criminal behaviorist with the FBI is so easily bamboozled. Here are some of the clues that should have tipped her off:

1. "...this morning..." -- I do not run in the morning. I may intend to. I may SWEAR TO GOD I'm going to get out from under the warm, cozy covers and fling my ass onto the streets below to run around like a little gerbil. But despite my best intentions, it is physically impossible for me to drag myself out of bed. Someone else might be able to -- in high school, my dad would resort to throwing water on me -- but it is physically impossible for a sleeping Matt to throw water on himself.

2. "...drove to the Washington Monument..." -- Even if, by some miracle, I managed to get up early to run, there is no possible way I could ever force myself to drive five miles away in order to run. Why? Just because it's flatter there? Because I want to "simulate race day"? Come on. Again, I may have grand designs, but in reality, I'm just going to run around the block.

3. "...free of any GPS technology..." -- I cannot doff my gadgetry that easily. I paid good money for the straps and cables and global positioning technology and the computer to link it all up to afterward and analyze my data to be able to determine with absolute precision whether I am running at the speed of a turnip or a kumquat. (There's a big difference.) I might forgo it for a brief jaunt around the block, but if I actually wanted to simulate race day, I'd definitely bring my gear.

EDIT: 4. "April 1..." -- The post was made on April Fool's Day. Everything should be taken with a giant grain of salt on April Fool's Day!

So, She Who Shall Not Be Named, I apologize for "fooling" you, but I am concerned that you were able to be fooled so easily. I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just you are responsible for solving crimes.

I kid, I kid! I'm sure you're a great crime fighter. Just remember, you're supposed to hold the skinny side of the magnifying glass.

In other news, that healthy chicken and veggies dish I made the other day? It remains just as delicious using different brands of chicken and steamed veggies. I had it again tonight with a bit of whole grain rice and it was absolutely delicious. It was actually better than my General Tso's chinese combo that I am in love with, except in a different way. It was delicious in a tasty, wholesome way. I did not feel all weighted down and disgusted by all the deep fryer oil. Blech. It turns out, Fresh is Good!

I ran my practice 5K in 28 minutes!!!

Friends, I am absolutely thrilled to be able to report that this morning I donned my questionable running shoes, drove to the Washington Monument, and proceeded to line up at what will be the starting line of this Sunday's 5K. I was loaded with caffeine, and fairly excited to see that the course was as flat as mapmyrun.com predicted.

Armed with nothing but shoes and a will to run without stopping, I toed the line, free of any GPS technology, and -- on my mark -- get set -- GO!

I took off at an extreme pace... and all of the tight calf problems I have been having seemed to magically disappear! Pleased, I decided to throw pacing out the window, and just see how fast I could git this thing done. At the halfway mark, I looked at my watch and was SHOCKED to see that only 15 minutes had passed -- and I was still filled with energy!! Remembering that Diana likes to aim for negative splits, I decided I would attempt the same, and instead of lengthening my stride, I followed Galloway's advice to quicken my turnover.

It worked.

As I approached the finish, which on Sunday will have a banner over it but today was just covered by an imaginary banner in my mind, I couldn't believe that I was under 30 minutes. And not just by a few seconds, but by a few minutes! As I passed under the imaginary banner, I stopped the timer on my watch, and looked down:

28:13

Ladies and Gentlemen, although I am still waiting for the runner's high, I finished that run in a state of euphoria. I can't believe I ran a 5K in 28 minutes!!!!! If I can do that on only a couple months of training, imagine how strong and fast I'll be by the time next year!

Here is a picture of me at the finish line. I can't wait to repeat this showing at Sunday's race. Thank you all for your kind words and support so far.