Wow, a month already?

The title about sums this one up. I knew I hadn't posted in a while but I can't believe it's been an entire month! Huh. Well, here's a brief recap:

I started on Turbulence Training, which details incredibly efficient and ass-kicking workouts that one can accomplish in about a half hour a day for six days a week, or an hour a day three times a week.

I did this for a couple weeks, and found my muscles very sore and my energy buoyed, but then I became inundated with work.

I haven't run in the past month. It got cold and I got busy and that was the first thing to fall off the plate. But I still intend to do the Cherry Blossom 10 Mile Run in April, so I'll have to get started training soon. Ian has promised to pay for the entry fee as a birthday present. I told him that was an ingeniously twisted present.

If you look at the big honking graph at the top, you will see that my "weight loss challenge" is not proceeding very well, as I am up a few pounds from the start. But you will also notice that the green areas -- which signifies prolonged weight loss -- were immediately proceeded by a 2-mile jog. So it appears that that simple-yet-incredibly-difficult endeavor is quite successful at blasting away the pounds.

Right now I am supposed to do lots of work every day -- basically 10-12 hours a day doing contract attorney work -- so that doesn't leave a lot of time for exercise. But it turns out that there is a Washington Sports Club right across the street from where I work. It's not "my" club, but I am allowed to work out there during "off-peak" hours. I checked, and that's 2-4 pm. Perfect! I can work from 8-2, take a break by going to the gym for an hour or two in the middle of the day, and then return to work from 4-9. This will allow me to get my hours in (thus making gobs of money, woo!) while also getting my exercise in (thus destroying gobs of fat, blech!). The bad news is that I won't be able to implement this until after I return from my Thanksgiving trip. The good news is that the schedule should help me counter the recent weight gain and, hopefully, begin a downward trend that will see the newfound fitting of my oldfound pants.

come ON!

FORCE YOURSELF TO GET UP IN THE MORNING AND EXERCISE!
The bed is NOT THAT COMFY!!
COME ON!!!

PS - I ate another pizza.

Truths

Seeing the scale number jump so high this morning was upsetting, but it was not a shock. Two nights ago I had a General Tso's combo for dinner, and last night I consumed an entire pizza. The massive water retention that accompanies such sodium-filled eating is not surprising. I knew it was coming.

The good news is that this is almost certainly all water weight, and it is just as easy to lose as to gain. Well, not JUST as easy, but just as simple. Don't binge on crap for a while.

I was going to jog today but I couldn't because I didn't wake up early enough and I had rehearsal directly after work, and after rehearsal it was too late to exercise because exercise keeps me up.

But I will have time tomorrow. Odds are I won't be able to squeeze it into the morning, since my sleeping schedule is not on track yet, but there is no reason why I can't hit the gym after work. The night is clear and I want to make progress toward my goal.

I saw a rather bad picture of myself yesterday. It was taken at church this Sunday, and it is what I look like when I am singing on stage with the rest of the choir. As you can see, the double chin is HUGE:



It's photos like that which I want to avoid. I know from experience that when I lose weight, it first comes off my stomach, and then my face looks a little less round, and then, finally, it starts slowly coming off from under my chin. It really is a genetic thing: some people can be 50 pounds overweight and not have a double chin, and some people can be a perfect weight and still have some flab under there. It's genetics and there is nothing I can do about that, EXCEPT to try to minimize it as much as possible.

oooooh that's a pleasant surprise

I just weighed myself at the end of the day and the results were good! I normally put my weight into the physicsdiet log in the morning after i use the bathroom, so i'm not sure if my weight will be this low in the morning, and I want to document it now so that I can be publicly pleased:

205.6! Body fat is also down too.

If you look at the little chart, you'll see that i'm basically as low right now as my low point a couple weeks ago. So I have gotten over the weird red triangle hump, and hopefully it will continue. :-)

I didn't run today because I was quite tired, but yes yes I will jog tomorrow.

Really not a lot to eat today, as I was not hungry:

• Breakfast: Coffee with cream
• Lunch: Chipotle (chicken, barbacoa and guac) + barq's root beer

And...... that's it. I know, not exactly a proper diet, but I kept the calories down and I wasn't hungry! And believe me, I got enough protein in that burrito to maintain my muscle mass.

Good Day Today

I had a good day today, with the only indulgence being an order of fries with my late lunch (I wanted to fill myself up because I knew I wouldn't be eating again for a while). Here is what I had:

• Bagel and a bit o' coffee w/ cream, sugar (300)
  
• Turkey wrap with hummus - tasty! (200)
  
• South Beach bar (140)
  
• BIG pita sandwich filled with chicken, hummus and veggies; fries (yeah yeah); Mountain Dew (900)
  
• Spicy lentil soup with ripped up turkey breast; some raisins and peanuts (300)

Approximate rounded up total = less than 2000

It seems I don't need more than 2000 calories to feel generally satisfied during the day. I absolutely don't need to scarf down a whole pizza at night! I am hoping the scale will be back below 207 tomorrow, but who knows - I might have a delayed rebound upward from last night's pizza experience.

I haven't been able to jog in a few days because I have been uberbusy. But I am absolutely making time tomorrow afternoon.

AGAIN

I DID IT AGAIN I ORDERED AND ATE A WHOLE PIZZA EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T HUNGRY I DID IT OUT OF HABIT THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME THERE'S GONNA BE SUCH A RED TRIANGLE TOMORROW

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Edit: Aaaaaand the scale went down. Green triangle. I'm confused.

Failure to plan

It is easy to overeat the day after a hard run, buoyed by the lingering satisfaction of a job well done, the emerging second-day soreness in my calves. It feels like I deserve it. It's also easy to overeat when you don't plan, when you don't eat every 3 hours, when you become famished at night and inhale the entire box of Kraft Mac & Cheese with cut up chicken sausage even though you told yourself you would only have half of it.

400 calories for bagel and coffee at breakfast. Then I was in the car for hours and succumbed to a Wendy's spicy chicken COMBO (yes, with fries) because it was right there, even though I didn't NEED it. Some peanuts and raisins tided me over after that, but 5 hours later I couldn't help but inhale the mac and cheese.

If I had kept my blood sugar steady by eating protein and carbs every 2-3 hours, I wouldn't even have had the DESIRE to overeat late at night.

Okay. Tomorrow is another day. But I will not be surprised if the scale's up tomorrow -- overeating ups the sodium which makes my body hold water like a sponge. Eek! Anyway, if I have the energy tomorrow evening, it will be time to jog.

A positive day

I would characterize today has a positive fitness day. I managed to run two miles even though it was excruciatingly hot outside. I do not intend to do that again. From now on, I will either run in the morning or in the evening, but not during the middle of the afternoon when it is approaching - or surpassing - record breaking temperatures.

So I ran two miles - well, walked and ran two miles - and did not ruin my diet today:

• Kashi GoLean Crunch with low fat milk - 300
• Half a pound of chicken breast with couscous and delicious hot sauce - 500
• Four pirogues sauteed in olive oil - 400
• A little bit of fat-free lemon sorbet - 100
• A diet lemonade and lots of water
  

Total: 1300 calories... is that right? I could have sworn that I ate more than that! I know that I have to eat more than that in order to maintain my muscle mass, because my base metabolic rate is around 2000.

That is very odd - surely I am missing something. But I can't think of anything - okay, time to have a protein shake and go to bed. :-) By the way, for any of you who are attempted to chastise me for low calorie intake, rest assured that I am not hungry! Don't worry - I would not purposely deprive myself too much. I know that I have to maintain a healthy eating lifestyle for life.

ADDENDUM: I remembered what else I ate today -- I grazed sporadically on raisins and low-salt mixed nuts, some organic peanut butter, and some cauliflower with hummus. I'd say it's an extra couple hundred calories worth. I also just ate a chicken sausage for 150 calories + some hot sauce. Still under 1800 calories for the day, and I was never hungry!

Katherine's Nutrition Tips

Tips from my Sister Katherine...
with editor's commentary from me!

1. chicken stir-fry. so easy. get your veggies and some sesame oil and some cut up chicken. use garlic salt or curry or whatever. but it's delicious, low-fat, and filling.

Yep, I too am a fan of the chicken stir-fry. I don't use as many vegetables as I should -- in fact I usually don't put veggies in at all -- but it is still delicious and low-fat and filling. I also use olive oil instead of sesame oil because it's very good for you.

2. cauliflower and hummus. one of my favorite snacks. also amazing with red pepper. it almost seems too good to be good for you!

I tried this suggestion and Katherine is right! Cauliflower + hummus = muy tasty, and filling too!

3. sugar free snacks. if you eat like ONE or TWO of the candies, it's much better for you than eating real sugar things.

I'm not a big sugar guy anyway, but good tip.

4. Wyler's lemonade. 0 calories, 0 grams of sugar. I live off of these things when I need something sweet. And it makes me want to drink water more.

If only I could figure out where to buy these... right now I'm getting my lemonade fix from Minute Maid Light Lemonade, 5 calories per can. Pretty tasty.

5. Ground turkey. Last night I browned ground turkey and added onions, broccolli, and some cheese with sesame oil. I didn't make a lot, but it was amazing!

I am also a fan of the browned ground turkey (in olive oil), but unlike Katherine I don't add veggies. That's not because I don't like veggies, but only because I am too lazy to cut them up and throw them in there.

6. SALADS! a key to success. add good things like turkey bacon or chicken. and stick with lite dressings or fat free dressings. cuz those will get you.

DO NOT LIKE SALADS. I am hoping there is another key.

7. if you are going to eat carbs, only eat WHEAT. and not fake wheat. there can't be any enriched flour. only whole grain flour. wheat bread, wheat pasta, brown jasmine rice. a serving size of spaghetti is equal to the circumference of a quarter.

"If you are going to eat carbs.." hahaha... I love my carbs. Eating them is a given. I cannot go through life remaining healthy and fit and SANE if I am forced to give up carbs. But yes, I try to get the whole grain stuff -- it keeps me fuller longer.

Progress is being made.

My run two days ago accomplished several important and positive things. As soon as I returned home, I realized that I had no cravings whatsoever for any bad foods. Whereas traditionally I have a very high chance of ordering pizza in the evening, after I returned from my two mile run, during which might pulse reached the very high number of 193, I had absolutely no desire for pizza. Or Chinese food. I actually had a hankering for - get this - vegetables!

The next day, I felt refreshed. Quite invigorated. Instant rejuvenation is a common side effect of exercise for me, and so when I do jog, for instance, I can take solace in the fact that even though weight loss may take several months, I will feel energized within days.

I was going to go for a run tonight, and I even when so far as to put on all of my jogging clothes, attach my heart rate monitor, and warmed up my muscles. But I was procrastinating because the thought of going back out there and running for two miles was not pleasant.So by the time I was finally ready to go, it was after ten o'clock. And there have been several crime alerts in this area recently. I am not making excuses! Alright, I am. But I did manage to walk around the block, and I swear to God I will go jogging tomorrow.

There is more good news though, which is that my resting pulse was at 72 beats per minute today! A couple of weeks ago there was nothing I could do to bring it under 85. It is amazing how fast cardiovascular changes can occur when starting - or, in my case, restarting - a fitness program!

One more thing: I find it very amusing that the graph of my weight fluctuations that the top of this page corresponds exactly with the days in which I have chosen to eat healthy, binge, and eat healthy again! Seriously, I could draw a box around the red area on the graph and write, "pizza!" And it would be exceedingly accurate and appropriate.

I saw my reflection in the door way to my apartment building yesterday, and it was very easy in my mind's eye to visualize what I would look like as a skinny person. I liked what I saw.

About to run... well, jog/walk

Long-time chum Ian, who told me about "Body for Life" 1/4 of a lifetime ago, just told me about another book, called "No Need for Speed." It's about running, and it is aimed at people like me -- we who have never thought of ourselves as "athletes." It's very motivational, and so far it's working.

I have long had a love-hate relationship with running. I hate getting out there, and yet when I'm out there it isn't so bad, and when I return, I usually feel pretty good. Tired but good. The longest run I've ever done was 6 or 7 miles, back when I was a senior at the University of Michigan. The date was September 28, 2001. I ran from central campus all the way to north campus, rested, and ran all the way back. Wow! I was thrilled! So proud of myself!

I didn't run again for years.

I don't know why. Maybe I thought I couldn't surpass that one-time burst of activity. In any case, I know that running has great benefits, both on the psyche and on the waistline. My mother has taken off 60 pounds in the past year by putting one foot in front of the other on a treadmill, and she looks and feels great now.

If she can do it, I can do it... Here is the 2-mile route I mapped out (well, 1.96 -- close as I could get):



At my peak running efficiency (mid-2003), I could jog 4.5 miles without stopping. It took 45 minutes, so it was slow, but it was steady and constant. Today, I'll be lucky if I can do the 2 miles in 45 minutes. :-) Anyway enough procrastinating. Time to get out there.

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Addendum: I DID IT. I missed one leg of the job because I took a wrong turn, so it was more like 1.86 miles, but there were a SHITLOAD of UNEXPECTED HILLS and I sprinted toward the end and got my pulse up to 193 at one point. It took 31 minutes. I HATE IAN.

Yeah. I know.

Today is Turkey Day

I made a tasty meal today. For several months, ground turkey breast has been sitting in my freezer. I don't even remember purchasing it - it must have been during one of my many weight loss kicks. Anyway, the "use or freeze by" date on the label was July 31st, and I know I had frozen it by that date. So today was Turkey Day!

Rudy, my little parrot, is enthralled whenever I am in the kitchen cooking. He was positively ecstatic as I ground over a pound of turkey breast at once, drizzling it with olive oil and my many spices. As usual, the most important consideration when cooking over a pound of turkey breast and a bunch of pasta is portion size. I scooped out about one-quarter of the dish, put it on a plate, and put the rest in the refrigerator. Together, Rudy and I feasted on our turkey pasta!

• Starbucks Eggs Florentine sandwich and grande iced chai (700 calories)
• string cheese and raisins (200 calories)
  
• turkey pasta (600 calories)
• a couple of diet lemonade (10 calories)

I plan to have a bit more food today, but as of now I am holding steady at just over 1500 calories. Pretty damn good. And I am really not even hungry. Seriously, it is all about portion control. If I were not obsessed only trying to watch my food intake, I would have absolutely no problem ordering a pizza right now. I just have to tell myself, I will not lose weight unless I make a concerted effort to.I have not yet made it to the gym, but as you can see by the trend line above, I am losing just under half a pound per day. I am sure that will even out, but it is still nice to see - with out even setting foot in the gym!

Weight: 205.4 - 208.4

Habits

• Breakfast: Starbucks -- Grande Iced Chai Latte + Pepper Bacon Egg Sandwich (620 calories)
• Lunch: Potato and Cheddar Pierogies, a little lettuce (250 calories)
• Snacks at Rehearsal (200 calories)
• Dinner: Chicken and Rice (380 calories)
• Low-sugar apple juice with Greens+, a few diet lemonades (75 calories)

TOTAL: 1525 calories

That really seems pretty low... I keep thinking I'm missing something between the starbucks and the pierogies, but I cannot for the life of me recall anything else. So I guess that's that. Wow! Not bad, not bad at all. I know it's actually a little low, but I really haven't been hungry or anything.

Oh, and get this: Tonight after rehearsal I went out to the bar with everyone else like I have the past couple weeks, but instead of my usual (about, oh, 3 Yuenglings), I decided not to get anything! That's right, not a single beer! You see, I usually have three pints because it takes at least that much for me to feel anything. (My tolerance, for some reason, is quite high.) But I don't have to get tipsy to enjoy spending time with my Choral Arts friends -- they are quite enjoyable in a sober state. So I didn't get anything to drink, and ya know what? I still had fun. And I didn't consume a meaningless 600 calories.

It's all about habits. My goal is to change them, one step at a time. So far, so good......

Weight: 205.8-207.6

Introducing the Temptation Index

I think it's time to introduce a new concept to my readers. I speak now of temptation. Today I went through my entire day and only succumbed to temptation once, and even that momentary lapse was not very great. So I thought to myself, how might I go about describing my daily menu while also conveying the difficulty I had in sticking to healthy diet? And thus the temptation index was born.

I think that I want to have two numbers: one for how much temptation I felt that day and one for how clean my eating Was that day. I'm not sure if higher numbers are better or worse. This is all very new for me as well as you, so please bear with me while I work out the kinks. Without further ado:

• Breakfast: a delicious smoothie made with protein powder, frozen berries, a bit of milk and orange juice, a banana, greens powder, and some honey (300 calories)
• Lunch: the leftover Chinese food from last night (500 calories)
• Snack: the remainder of the smoothie (100 calories)
• Dinner: pad thai frozen dinner (400 calories)
• Snack: small piece of matzah with natural organic peanut butter, one scrambled egg on a small whole wheat wrap, and some edamame with a dash of sea salt ( 300 calories maximum - and I think I'm estimating high)

grand total: 300 plus 500 plus 100 plus 400 plus 300 equals 1600 calories!

Not bad. Not bad at all. Oh, yeah, the temptation index! Damn, I forgot about that. Okay: the temptation that I faced throughout the day was somewhat high. And I gave into it, but only once - and that was because the Chinese food was sitting right there and I had already paid for it. The second time I felt temptation was about two hours after my frozen dinner - I had an urge, like I do most nights, to order a pizza. I could very easily see myself giving in to temptation, and simply ordering that pizza, and eating it and feeling like crap. But I didn't give in. I looked at the refrigerator, and thought, what do I have here that could get rid of my pizza craving? What would fill me up? Sometimes when I want pizza, instead I will have a piece of whole wheat, toasted, with torn up string cheese, a bit of tomato sauce, and a drizzle of olive oil. Today, however, I realized that my pizza craving was not very strong, and I did not need to replicate the taste of pizza in order to quell it. So I simply ate what ever: peanut butter, an egg, and edamame that had been sitting in the freezer for two months. :-) It worked!

Right, right, temptation index! Hmmm..... 8? 5? 8/5? Oh, who knows. This is all too confusing. All I know for sure is this: 1600 calories baby! Yeah!

Weight: 206.2 - 208.2 (That is the range given by my scale today, starting at the beginning and ending at the end.)

Not so hard...

Eating the right things isn't so hard. What's hard is changing INGRAINED HABITS. But all it takes is a conscious, concerted effort. Remember how I didn't order pizza delivery last night? And you know how I've been trying to eat healthier the last couple of days, and limit my portions? Well today I got on the scale and I was at 205.8 -- down two pounds from yesterday, and four pounds from the day before. It is fairly obvious, then, that when I eat like CRAP, I retain water like a mofo. That's why I feel fat and look bloated and am all sluggish. Cut out the insane number of calories, limit the sodium intake, and I can at least get down to a reasonable "starting weight" for another go of exercise.

All is not lost.

Weight: 205.8

Baby Steps to Curbing Bad Habits

It is so hard to change the way we do things. It is so hard to break out of bad habit, especially when that bad habit feels good. I think my worst nutritional bad habit, at the moment, is ordering delivery at night, and eating the whole thing -- even if I'm not particularly hungry.

Ending this bad habit is far harder than one would think. I KNOW, intellectually, that ordering pizza or Chinese all the time is stupid. It's fattening, it's expensive, and I don't need it. You don't have to tell me all the reasons it's a bad idea -- I KNOW it's a bad idea. And it is SIMPLE to change: just don't order delivery at night anymore.

Oh, how simple indeed. Alas, "simple" and "easy" are not the same. Getting a law degree is straightforward: just follow the steps. Take the LSATs, apply to law school, pick one, and attend it for three(ish) years. Do the work. Boom, you have your JD. Is it simple? Yes. Is it EASY? Hell no.

I think that in order to stop doing what I KNOW is bad for me, I have to dig deeper. I have to get to the EMOTIONAL reason why I do what I do. Is it because pizza tastes good? Well, yeah, sure, but that's a bit too superficial. I think I am really eating because I am bored. Because I don't want to do my legal work, and I am looking for anything that can allow me a short reprieve. Perhaps because my good friends have left town and I don't really have a lot of people to hang out with, so I pass the time by eating pizza. I don't know.

But whatever the reason is, I didn't succumb to my bad habits tonight. Nope. I wanted a pizza. I love my pizza. I was bored. All the reasons above. And yet I knew that I didn't need it and I would only feel a momentary burst of pleasure, followed by hours or days of guilt and sluggishness. So I made some chicken breast instead. I ate that and washed it down with my super veggie drink. And ya know what? It was tasty. And satisfying. And I DIDN'T spend ten dollars and consume 2,000 calories at 11 p.m. (I think the chicken breast and drink came out to about 350 calories.)

So, yeah. I don't know if I'm going to be posting a lot on this fitness blog, but I probably will whenever I am struggling -- which I am now. The good news is that I am about the same weight as I was a year ago. I haven't lost, but I haven't gained either. So that's good news.

Ugh.

I don't know how, but I must have gained ten pounds in the last month.
Seriously, it seems like I was just down to 202 in August, and my tummy was getting flatter and everything. Then I lose Sweetie to North Carolina, and my NAB job ends, and suddenly everything is up in the air and what do I do to sooth myself? Eat. And what do i do because I'm home all day telecommuting? Eat. I eat when I'm NOT EVEN HUNGRY. WTF??!!!!!

So now, as usual, I feel like a total fattie. Last week I was incredibly sluggish, but then I forced myself to finally get to the gym, and now I don't feel sluggish anymore. But I do feel chunky, and I can see the difference in the mirror, and I can feel the difference in the tightness of my pants.

It's very frustrating because when I stand shirtless and look in the mirror, I see a guy with muscles -- they just happen to be buried under layers of fat. How much fat? I'd say I could lose 20, 30 pounds. Heh... I've been saying that for the past couple of years, haven't I?

Thing is, Jake and Gweeps just came to visit, and they are 236 and 278, respectively. I don't think I'll be nearing Gweep's proportions anytime soon, but 236? That's a lot closer than I like to think. A few years down the road... a pound a month... and BOOM. 236. Gradually. Naturally. Catastrophically.

Blech.

Hmm.

I haven't been to the gym in 2.5 months.
I actually exercised fairly regularly while studying for the bar...
And even through March.
But since I returned to DC, I haven't had access to a gym!

And yet I haven't gained much weight. Perhaps I have lost... I'm not sure. I haven't stepped on a scale since I came to DC either.

Will keep you posted.

Awesome

I only had a few minutes, but I wanted to get a workout in. I went downstairs to the apartment gym, which was already somewhat full. I staked out the decline bench -- the one where your head is below your feet -- and grabbed a couple of 25 pound dumbbells. The next few minutes proceeded quickly and intensely:

• 12 reps of dumbbell presses; no rest before next set
  
• 12 reps of dumbbell flyes; no rest
  
• 12 reps of dumbbell presses; no rest
• 12 situps

Rest 30 seconds

• 12 reps of standing alternating dumbbell curls; no rest
  
• 12 reps of dumbbell shoulder presses

I saw a girl looking at me. Probably noticing that I was hardly resting at all, just going in there like a tornado, busting the place up, and getting the hell out of there. I put the dumbbells back, grabbed a cup of water, and left the gym. I was positively giddy! I wanted to laugh, or shout, or jump for joy. It was a great little workout, a great boost of energy, and I could just feel that it was doing my body good.

I think that's what I need. More mini-workouts to keep my heart pumping and my muscles growing. In just a few minutes, I had hit my pecs, abs, biceps and shoulders. Take note.

Maybe T-giving week isn't a good week to start a diet program

Today was not a good diet day. I got a Burger King combo for lunch and then met my friends for dinner at California Pizza Kitchen. Tomorrow will be no better -- with a flight to Michigan and a turkey buffet, there is no way I am getting any exercise or a healthy diet. I will just have to start back up on the weekend, I suppose.

I did stop by Target tonight and pick up a few diet-related things: South Beach meal replacement bars that look very tasty; Kashi meal replacement bars that look equally tasty; and Xenadrine EFX. I used Xenadrine back before ephedrine was banned, and it really gave me a lot of energy. The energy is very useful in getting you motivated at the gym -- you're literally bounding with energy, and you feel almost compelled to work it off at the gym. I'm looking forward to trying the ephedrine-free version. (Though, fwiw, I didn't have any real jitters with the ephedrine formula, and I think it's a shame the FDA banned it.)

Oh! I also found a very tasty protein drink: WorldWide Pure Protein vanilla shakes with 35 grams of protein per serving. It comes in a can, so I don't have to deal with messy, inconvenient powders; it's only 160 calories (and almost no carbs or sugar); and it's actually quite palatable! I wouldn't go so far as to call it "delicious," but it's definitely much better than the vomit-inducing concoction one makes from those giant jugs of protein powder. (More expensive too, at $2 per serving vs. about 30 cents per serving, but what point is cheap protein if it's too disgusting and/or inconvenient to drink it?) So I plan to order a shipment from the Web and include a can or two in my daily diet regimen...

Will keep you posted.

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ADDENDUM: Perhaps it's a sign of my general exhaustion that I completely forgot I had already discussed the Pure Protein drink in my last post. Please accept my apologies. :-) (But it really is good -- you should try it!)

Diet

I have been exhausted all day -- a side effect of intense workouts -- so, surprise surprise, I didn't make it to the gym this morning. I will do all I can to get my cardio in today.



Diet so far:

• Starbucks eggs florentine muffin, grande iced chai tea latte (20 g?)
  
  
• Worldwide Pure Protein shake, Kellogg's Special-K bar (36 g)

For the record, I am starving. I think my breakfast didn't have enough whole grains or fiber or something, because it definitely didn't fill me up at all. On the plus side, the Pure Protein shake is quite palatable, and, coming from a can, is a really easy way to get enough protein during the day! I will definitely order a shipment. It's about $2 a can, which is way more expensive than actually making a shake myself from powder, but it is much tastier and easier to take with me to work, which means I will actually drink it. (My track record on protein powders is horrible -- I'll buy a 6 pound jug of chocolate whey protein powder from GNC, put it on top of the fridge, and 12 months later I've hardly touched it!)

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ADDENDUM: I was completely starving for the rest of the day. I have no idea why, other than possibly not enough fiber in the morning, or some weird gastronomic gurgle that kept me feeling famished all day. I don't remember what I ate after the protein shake, but late at night I stopped off at 7-11 and had three taquitos, a 20 oz. root beer, and some Slim Jims. Yeah, I know, but I was seriously starving.

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So far so good

Made it to the gym this morning for a difficult upper-body workout (UBWO). Realized that there is a reason people don't work their shoulders before their chest; the shoulders tired out more quickly than the chest, because they are smaller -- which means I couldn't dumbbell press nearly as much as usual! Oh well.

Meals:

• Spicy tuna breast on a whole wheat pita (36 g protein)
  
• South Beach bar and Lipton green tea w/ citrus (12 g)
• Cosi Sesame Ginger Chicken sandwich and carrots (38 g)
• Barq's root beer (0 g)
• Tofu with rice and vegetables (20 g?)

Assuming my tofu calculation is on (I'm not normally a tofu person so it's tricky), that gives me about 106 g of protein for today. A little lower than I'd like, but I'd rather accept a slightly low protein number than down a protein shake right now at the cost of 300 extra calories.

Getting up early to do cardio sucks, but it sucks less than being 30 pounds overweight

Title pretty much says it all. I actually made it down to the gym this morning by 7:30 a.m. and slogged my way through a 20 minute HIIT session on the recumbent bike. It was NOT EASY and NOT FUN. I haven't done cardio in weeks, and I haven't done early morning cardio in MONTHS, if not years. (I honestly can't remember the last time I did morning exercise). They say cardio first thing on an empty stomach burns more calories and revvs you up for the rest of the day; all I know is that it was a bitch and I am doing it again tomorrow. I also know that the only other two people in the downstairs gym so early this morning were thin. As thin as you'd expect from people who get up at 7 on a Sunday morning to kill themselves at the gym. Diet today was pretty good, at least until I decided to finish off the remaining pieces of pizza I ordered two nights ago. Hey, it's a miracle the pizza lasted me three days! It's like a new Hanukkah story. :-) And it is told that the extra-large pizza, which would normally be devoured in the span of one day, did last that two hundred and ten pound Jew for three days, praise the Lord! I think I'll take a hint from 2003-Matt (see archives, right), and include a table denoting what I ate today. Until tomorrow...!

Starbucks: Reduced fat turkey-bacon, egg and cheese muffin; iced nonfat chai tea latte Salad with can o' chicken breast Sushi, steamed chicken dumplings and edamame Three pieces of meaty pizza and a little mint chocolate chip ice cream

Long Term Trend is NOT GOOD and must be changed

Okay, so I read back through my fitness journal at Primal Eloquence, and it turns out I noted my weight five times over the course of a few years. I was able to put together a graph of my average weight gain since early 2003. The results are NOT GOOD:


It is truly shocking to realize that I am trending upward at about 8 pounds a year. That would make me about 220 pounds one year from now. Of course, it is also telling to note that between Jan. 2003 and May 2004, I only gained three pounds. Why did my weight stay so constant? Regular exercise. (And as I was working out relatively consistently from Jan-Aug of '03, half of that gain was likely muscle.)

Why did I jump up 10 pounds from May to Dec. '04? I can think of several reasons: From late April to early July, I was in a relationship, and I probably felt little pressure to keep the weight down. In late June, I was hit with mono, and it took a while for my energy to return. In August, I was accepted for transfer to Georgetown, and exercising fell by the waysides as I abruptly moved to DC and got acclimated. In my first semester at G'town, i.e. Sept-Dec '04, I focused on study instead of exercise. By the time I knew it, I was at 200.

At that point, I did take note, and exercise enough to slow the upward trend. Over the past two years, I have only gained 6 pounds a year (0.5 pounds a month). But, of course, that adds up...

I don't like where the trend is going!!! I have to make a major adjustment in my priorities, and soon. Looking over my logs for the past few years, I find that every few months, I tend to go on an exercise kick, which ALWAYS sputters out after 2-3 weeks. It is so consistent, you could set your watch by it. I'll make all these big plans, and hit the gym hard for 2 weeks, and then I usually get sick and that derails me, or else I'll just lose interest. I've been exercising and eating healthy for three weeks, I think; now it's time to relax for a few days. The problem is, relaxation has a tendency to get away from you.

Any ideas?

---

ADDENDUM * * * I decided to graph my weight since 1997, and the trend holds: Other than two periods of weight loss, my weight has consistently gone up, on average, 1/2 pound a month. Unless I want to end up a 300-pounder vying for a spot on The Biggest Loser, it is definitely time for a change.

30? Meet 40.

Fresh off the heels of 50-pound dumbbell presses a couple weeks ago (that's 50 pounds in each hand, mind you), I achieved a new high today, this time bicep-related: A year ago I pushed through the 25-pound dumbbell curl plateau to reach the then-unheard of weight of 30-pound dumbbell curls. Today, after having done 10 curls at 30 pounds, I decided to push higher. 35? Nah. What the hell, let's go for 40. Was I able to do 10? No way. Was I able to do 3? Yes! Was my form perfect? No way. Did my form at all resemble an actual curl? Absolutely!

Forty pound curls, even if only a few of them, were literally completely impossible for me several years ago. I couldn't even do one.

Today, on a whim, I did three in each hand.

Haaawesome.

Diet

Today:

• Bowl of Kashi GoLean Crunch with 1/2 cup of milk; orange juice
• Sobe Adrenaline Rush (sugar free)
• Piece of carrot cake with icing
• Cup of lentil soup

Will probably have something later. I've been eating like crap all last week, and not exercising. In my defense, everyone around me is getting sick and I am conserving my energy. I don't want to worok out so hard that my body gets tired, run down and then sick...

But I'll start again soon.

First Findings

• Kashi GoLean Crunch! is really good. Seriously, truly tasty. It's got a real "crunch!" to it, as the name makes clear -- but after the initial crunch, it's got this understated sweetness about it, a mixture of cinnamon and maybe a little honey. Mmmm. A bowl is very filling, and here's the amazing part: it actually KEEPS me full. For hours. Yesterday I had a bowl with milk in the morning, two South Beach bars over the course of the day, and a bottle of Lipton Green Tea with Citrus. That was enough to keep me satiated until late at night!
  
• My SuperPanda General Tso's Combo (w/ soup and an egg roll) tastes very good in moderation, but if I actually try to eat the whole thing, I feel like SHIT for the rest of the day.
  
• My standard meals have turned into this: Breakfast - Kashi; Lunch - Sandwich (tuna/turkey); Dinner - Chicken breast with rice, olive oil and some form of hot sauce (currently I love Uncle Brutha's Fire Sauce No. 9). Perhaps a yogurt or two. Not bad.
  
• Once I'm at the gym, I work my ass off. The problem is getting to the gym. Not physically -- it's right downstairs -- but intellectually. Forcing myself to get off my tired butt and go to the gym. It's a matter of psyching myself up, but on a more practical level, it's a matter of finding a time when a) I am energetic enough to exercise, and b) it is not so late that the exercise will keep me up forever, thus making me very tired tomorrow, sparking these problems anew.

Oh well.... off to the gym!

ADDENDUM

I did like 4 mins on the bike, couldn't pick up any steam, and then I sneezed and for some reason that made my entire body ache. Like, deep down in my muscles, almost like a weird cramp. So I got off and laid on this massage table thing for a while. Like 10-15 minutes. And I watched the rest of the news on TV. And then after a while I decided, ah well i should probably push myself for a while. I mean I'm down here in my shorts and everything. So I got back on the bike and still couldn't get going -- UNTIL I put on my iPod. FatBoy Slim. Praise You. That's all it took. Twenty-five minutes later, I was drenched. And then I followed that with several dozen crunches.

Actually, after I left the gym and started walking toward the elevator, it turns out I was relaxed and rested AND i had tons of energy. I almost wanted to go back in there and workout some more. Instead, I jogged up and down the apartment hallways a few times to burn off the excess energy!

Baby Steps to a Healthy Weight

I visited Michigan last weekend, and saw that my mother -- who has been going to the gym a few times a week and eating healthy -- has lost a ton of weight. I'd say it's 30 pounds in the past 6 months. She is starting to get her girlish figure back. It is so fantastic! But in seeing her success, I became ever more aware of my weight loss woes. Since I shaved the beard off, I can't hide it anymore, and the 210 pounds I'm carrying around really do not look good.

So I'm trying to lose weight again. I'm not a big fan of Body for Life style challenges, because -- as successful as I once was -- they are incredibly hard to stick to. Six meals a day, six times a week at the gym, busting your ass every single time... it's a nice plan in theory, but in reality you're exhausted all the time for at least a month. I can't handle such exhaustion. So I'm going to try to tone the plan down a bit -- maybe only exercise 4-5 times a week as opposed to 6 times, and maybe not *kill* myself as much as the plan calls for.

Why? Because I have only once been able to stick to the plan. In the summer of 2001, that was the number one most important thing in my life, and I lost a bunch of weight and felt great. But right now I have some other pressing things to take care of -- school, work, the bar, finding a legal job, etc. I can't make fitness THE most important thing. But it is still important.

I'm just going to try to make conscious efforts to eat right and work out on a regular basis. Yesterday I went to the grocery store and bought a bunch of healthy-yet-tasty food. Last night instead of ordering a pizza or something, I had a couple very tasty chicken breasts, an Activia yogurt (the kind with all the good bacteria), and some carrots and hummus. This morning for breakfast I had Kashi GoLean Crunch!, which I've never had before and is actually quite delicious and very healthy (lots of protein, lots of fiber). Now I'm going to get on the recumbent bike and do some cardio for a while.

The goal here is to get from my current 210 pounds and an unhealthy 27.7 Body Mass Index (BMI) to 180 pounds and a healthy 23.7 BMI. Not only will I look better at 180, but I will have a lot more energy and generally be a happier person.

Check back here for the Continuing Saga of my weight loss efforts. Until I post again, please feel free to occupy yourself with this nifty graph of my weight loss over the last week. :-)

Two days in a row

• Tuesday, 10/3: CARDIO -- 15 minutes on the recumbent bike
  
• Wednesday, 10/4: WEIGHTS -- 50 minute upper body workout

Today I am a little sore but I feel good. I was planning on doing cardio before work today, but surprise surprise, my body preferred as much sleep as it could get. I will do a half hour after work today.

Log:

Starting the day with Energy

I have been very sluggish for the past week or two. History has shown that this happens whenever I ignore exercise for several weeks. History has also shown that my fatigue is easily curable. So this morning I rolled out of bed and forced myself to head downstairs to the apartment gym, and I did 15 minutes on the recumbent bike. I didn't push myself too hard, but just enough to break a sweat. And ya know what? I arrived at the office refreshed and energetic. True, the energy is starting to wear off now, but it lasted for almost 4 hours and this was due to just ONE moderately intense (probably a 7 intensity out of 10) 15-minute session on the bike!

I'm tired of people pointing out that I have a tummy now. I'm tired of feeling tired. And I don't much like the fact that my MOTHER is now working out far more than I am! (Of course I'm ecstatic that she has finally chosen to follow my advice and get to the gym, and I am so proud of her. But still, I'm ashamed of my own lackluster efforts.) All it takes is a simple change in habits -- roll out of bed and stumble downstairs to the gym. Get on the bike and watch the morning news for a half hour. Feel energized for the rest of the day. Bonus: the pounds will start to melt off.

For the first time

For the first time in I-don't-know-how-many-months, I actually "feel fat." This hasn't happened in a while -- maybe having a loving girlfriend tends to make me forget that, wait a second, there's something amiss with my body. I've also been looking at my old B&A picture, realizing how absolutely toned I was, and really wishing I could be that way again.

It will have to wait until after finals. But starting May 17...

Water

Pizza is great. Zebra Cakes are delicious. Chinese food is delectable. But at times there is absolutely nothing better than a tall glass of water. I'm serious -- that amazing, refreshing feeling of liquid pouring into a parched body -- it's sustaining. I love it.

Goals versus Reality

Goal-setting is extremely fun to do when you don't care how or if the goals actually pan out! It's also very easy as long as you don't pay any heed to reality. That downward sloping graph will only come to pass if I proactively make an EFFORT to work out. This simply will not happen during finals. *sigh*

Haven't worked out since Dec. 1. Dammit, how the time simply flies.

Of course, I was sick for a week in there. So it's not entirely my fault.

Damn you, reality, for getting in the way of my fantastic goals!

Plan

Okay, I have been eating relatively healthy this week, and I have made an effort to get to the gym every couple days... mostly for some quick but intense weight lifting, because I just don't have the time (or is it willpower?) for cardio... but obviously cardio is important and so I will try to get into that soon.

This is my plan. Ambitious, I know... but possible...


Log, 12/1/05

• Lat pulldowns -- 10@60 lbs, 10@100
  
• Machine rows -- 12@60, 8@100
  
• Machine overhead press -- 12@60, 10@90, 8@120, 4@90, 5@60 -- failure!
  
• Standing alternating dumbell curls -- 5@30 each

Log, 11/29/05

• Treadmill -- 2 mins walk, 2 mins jog, 2 mins walk, 1 min jog
  
• Circuit on Swiss ball: Dumbell press -- 12@30 each; Dumbell flyes -- 10@30 each; Shoulder press -- 10@30 each
  
• Rest 1 min, repeat circuit
  
• Overhead tricep extensions -- 12@30, 12@30
  
• Calf presses -- 12@50, 12@50
  
• A good night sleep -- priceless!

Was it a dream?

I remember when I loved it. I remember when I loved the challenge of pushing my body as far as it would go, and then doing it again the next day. I loved the control I found in planning and sticking to a nutritious yet tasty meal plan that left me energized instead of sluggish. I loved working out for weeks and then months until I finally saw results... and I loved when the results seemingly wouldn't stop, and new pants were too big almost as soon as I bought them, and I was never out of energy, and once my body was under control I used the excess energy to take control of my life.

I want to love it again.

Log

10/17

Recumbent bike
 20 minutes
DB chest press
 12 @ 30 each
 12 @ 30
 12 @ 30
DB shoulder press
 10 @ 30 each
 8 @ 30
Tricep rope pulldowns
 10 @ 40
 10 @ 40
Swiss ball crunches
 12 / 12 / 12

These weights were somewhat of a guess, as I haven't lifted in a while, but I mostly estimated correctly. Next time -- up the DB chest press weight to 35 pounds dumbells, and just try to do more of everything else.

Biceps

I'm around. I'm averaging about twice a month at the gym, but I am around. In fact, last night I went downstairs to the little gym on the 2nd floor with the sole purpose of making my biceps bigger. You see, over the years I have made a lot of progress on most of my other 2000 parts, but my biceps have pretty much plateaued. I generally do 25 pound bicep curls, and I really don't go over that, and I have just assumed I can't go over that, but then I realized I had failed to follow the advice I give to my friends when they think they are stuck: Just Go Higher! No, you won't be able to do as many reps, and your form may be questionable toward the end of your set, but just try it -- you may surprise yourself.

So I took my own advice and I went up to 30. And guess what! I did 10 reps, and then I rested for a minute, and I was able to do another 5 reps before my arms gave out. This is very good news! It means that the 25 pound ceiling was self-imposed, and I can push through it, and it will just take a bit of time. Next time I go down to the 2nd floor, I will try to do two sets of 10 reps, and then the next time I will try to work on that 3rd set, and then when I can do three sets of 10 (or maybe 12), I will go up to 35.

And there was much happiness! :-D

I am a slug

Where have I gone, Matthew Schwartzio?
The bloggers turn their lonely eyes to meee-eee-ee-eeeee

A'ight, 'nuff S&G for tonight. Where have I gone, indeed? As much as I would love to say I have been sweating my a$$ off at the gym, I am afraid the exact opposite has happened. Well, not the EXACT opposite (freezing my a¢¢ off at home?), but close. I haven't really made it to the gym since I last posted. Things have been... well, they haven't lent themselves to exercise. Let's just say that. Let's just say when your summer firm dings you, declining to give you an offer because you're "too much of a thinker," it makes you want to think of ways to -- well, the point is fitness and exercise have been pretty far from my mind.

That said, my apartment does have a rather nice setup that allows me to do quasi-dips in the comfort of my own home. And the GOOD news is that I an actually do them! Unassisted! Like 5 or 6 of them!!!! This is amazing progress, and I can only surmise that the time off, coupled with ungodly amounts of protein (there's at least 100 grams in a large pizza) have combined to give me rested and growing pecs. Beautiful. Sadly, they pale in comparison to my ever-expanding waist line, but give a man a break.

The point is I'll get back on it soon. It just takes me a while to find my groove. And in the meantime, I will just have to get used to feeling sluggish, lethargic, and easily winded. Blech.

Math time

On Saturday the 30th, I went to the gym after four days of sadly NOT going to the gym, either because of too much work or being too tired or what have you. (We will get to this in a minute.) I asked the front desk how many times I had been to the gym that month. The front desk responded: 15.

15!

Now at first that doesn't sound very good, because on average it's only once every other day. And yet that still averages out to 3 or 4 times per week, and that is a big improvement over the 5 times I went to the gym in the entire month of June (1.25 times a week!)

And now back to being too tired and missing the gym for 4 days:

It sucks. But it happened. And one thing is very true: When I am going to the gym on a daily basis, it is easy to keep going. I have built up momentum. I can even take up to a day off in between workouts and still maintain the momentum. But if I take TWO days off between workouts? That's it. Momentum is dead, and so are my gym outings. The effort required to go back to the gym after that second day off is exponentially higher than usual. Let me demonstrate in a little chart:

Days Off	Effort Required
0	1
1	2
2	4
3	8

As you can see, effort is two to the number of days off. Or, where E=effort and T=number of days off between workouts, E=2^T

After three days off, effort breaks the 10 barrier. This is kind of like breaking Warp 10. Once this occurs, it is almost impossible to get back to the Alpha Quadrant -- excuse me, the gym. Day 4 is a 16 in effort. Day 5 is a 32! After a week you're as good as couch-bound for the rest of your existence.

The point is, yeah I missed a few days. But it's a good thing I went before T=4!

And now it is a new month, and I shall endeavor to hit the 20-workout mark before the month is out. My new apartment will have a gym in the basement, so We Shall See!

Tiiiiiiiiiired

I'm tired and frustrated.

I'm tired because I worked out hard yesterday and didn't get enough sleep (only about 6.5 hours).

I'm frustrated because two days ago I bought TWO POUNDS of blueberries, and last night in the middle of the night, probably in an Ambien-induced haze, my little sister ATE THEM ALL. I had eaten exactly two blueberries. Oh, but that's not all: The reason I bought all those blueberries is because the two pounds of blueberries I purchased last week had gone missing. You know why? BECAUSE MY LITTLE SISTER ATE ALL OF THEM TOO! In the middle of the night! GAAAAH!!!!!!!!

One more month until I am back in Washington. Thank God.

---

Workout log:
* Sunday: 42 minutes on the recumbent bike (8.5 miles, 300 calories, avg. HR 141, max HR 183)

PowerGel Goo SUCKS

Yeah, there's really little more to say about that. I bought some PowerGel because I thought it looked neat and I had always wanted to try it... and I went to the gym, and sat in the parking lot, and i ripped open the package, ready for some delightful orange energizing goo, but what I GOT was some DISGUSTING orange HORRIFYING goo, reminiscent of something a mother bird might regurgitate for her babies. Soooo gross. Blech. Eww. I drove to the Taco Bell a quarter mile away and ate a rather healthy and definitely tasty soft chicken taco. That was all the energy I needed, for I had a rather productive session on the bike. :-)

In other news, there are still only two diamond triangles, and they appear to be somewhat lighter today. I'm still suspicious though. Aliens like to bide their time.

---

Exercise Log:
* Wednesday: Back/bis
* Thursday: Excessive drinking at Hockeytown before the Tiger's game
* Friday: 30 minutes on the recumbent bike
* Saturday: Chest/shoulders/tris

Alien Hickeys or Broken Vertebrae?

I felt nothing, I heard nothing, I sensed nothing. So I was surprised when my sister (having stumbled upon me shirtless in my room), saw my back and gasped. "What's that?" she said with a mixture of shock and curiosity.

"What's what?"

"That purple mark thing!"

I ran to the hall mirror and tried to see what she was talking about. It is, of course, incredibly difficult to see something that is exactly dead center on your back. One's head simply does not swivel in that direction. But after many seconds of contorting, and the help of a hand mirror, I saw it.

Two purple diamonds, directly in the center of my back. One was dark purple, about 2.5 inches wide and 1.5 inches high. The other one was directly below, and looked like an echo, slightly smaller and lighter. What on earth could that be? My sister tried to wipe it off, but it was indelible.

I ran to the computer and took a picture:


I sent it to various friends who were online.

"That's gotta be a bruise," most of them said.
"Can't be, it doesn't hurt," I replied.
"Maybe you laid on something?" a few said.
"Nope."
"Have you been drinking excessively lately?"

Ooh, a direct hit! It just so happens that last night I went out with some buddies and I did indeed drink, possibly even to excess. But still, I remember the evening. At no point did I or anyone else brand myself with a diamond shaped poker!

This left only one possibility: Alien Abduction. Strange marks have appeared on my body before, with me having no idea how or when they got there... but these were the strangest yet. Two diamonds? Directly on my spine? One above the other, the second a visual echo of the first? This was too freaky. This had to be... ALIENS.

[Editor's note: A split-second after I typed that last word, my computer speakers made a very odd low rumbling noise. No audio applications were playing. I am now officially scared.]

I told my friend about the aliens. He agreed there could be no other explanation.

Then another friend with whom I have discussed my fitness endeavors asked me something to the effect of, "Have you been lifting any weights and putting pressure on your back?"

"No, I.... OH!"

It turns out I have. A couple days ago I attempted dumbbell pullovers. And it just so happens that in order to do this exercise, I have to balance my back perpendicularly on the edge of a bench. This could conceivably cause the exact pattern of markings on my back.

"That's it," said my friend. "You did most of the pullovers and then you changed positions slightly and did a few more. That's why it's darker on top and then gets lighter."

This all seemed reasonable enough. Had she left it at that, I would not have been freaking out. But then she admonished me: "Those markings look like vertebrae. Be careful."

Vertebrae, huh? Those spinal column things? Hmm. A quick Google Image Search later, and a superimposition in Photoshop, and I was freaking out:

If that diagram was right, (and I got it from the INTERNET so it HAD to be right!), the marks corresponded PRECISELY with two of my thoracic vertebrae!

I showed her this picture. "Oh my," she said.
"What should I do???"
"Well, does it hurt?"
"No..."
"Is it sensitive?"
I ran my fingers across it. The skin felt kind of rubbery there -- it definitely didn't feel like the rest of my back -- but it wasn't sensitive.
"No."
"Then it's probably just a bruise," she said. "Don't worry about it. But don't do that exercise again."
"But it can't be a bruise," I pressed on. "It doesn't hurt!"
"Then maybe it's almost a bruise. Enough to make a mark, but not enough to hurt."
I was about to dismiss such a notion as nothing more than foolish hobbledygobble, until my mind recalled that hickeys are kind of like that.
"Okay..." I said.

I was placated. But then a new thought entered my mind. One even more terrifying than the possibility of broken vertebrae...

What if the aliens gave me hickeys???

I choose not to think about this anymore. I am going to try to sleep. And yet I fear that when I wake up, I may have three diamonds, or four, or perhaps two really big diamonds that cover the entirety of my back. And when that happens, we will all know what happened. The aliens had a taste of my sweet back. And they couldn't stay away. Not even galactical distances would keep them from a second helping.

God help me!

*zoom zoom zoom*

No more turkey bacon guacamoles for me. :-) Maybe a bit too much Thai food, but I refuse to give up my favorite parts of life!

I'm working on the Mountain Dews though. I tried to drink a Diet one today. The first second of the first sip was somewhat tolerable... then it hit me. I was drinking diet. There was no substance. Zero calories. What the hell am I drinking? Air? And what's with that aftertaste? How can there be an aftertaste when it barely has a taste to begin with?

So I plan to stick with regular Mountain Dews for the foreseeable future. Hey, I know I want to get in shape, but let's do this gradually, okay? I'm down to one 20 ounce a day. That's good enough for now.

So, last night I was allll set to do my back/biceps workout, but then Donnie called with a last-minute invitation to poker with him, his family, and some friends, including but not limited to Jeremy! And since Jeremy was about to return home to North Carolina, I felt obliged to skip the workout and come see him before he left.

It was well worth it, as I played well enough to knock Jeremy out of the game. And then I gave him some of my chips so he could play some more. And he went out again. And again. Yes, Jeremy has the questionable honor of being the 1st, 2nd and 3rd person eliminated from our poker tournament. Congratulations are in order, I'd say. :-)

---

Workout Log
* Monday: None
* Tuesday: 35 minutes on the recumbent bike (300 calories burned, ~8 miles traversed)

*sputter*

I had a quizno's turkey bacon avocado sandwich and Mountain Dew for lunch... and now, an hour later, I am so sluggish. I can barely move my arms. It is like all my energy has been drained out of me.

Imagine a generator humming with power. Now imagine it turning off. Imagine the whining sound of the motor as it cycles down. See the lights flickering, and then going out.

That is me.

I'm sure there's a lesson to learn from all this, but my mind is too sluggish to figure out what it is... think it has something to do with eating... more? less? sugar? blah? can't think.

---

Workout log:
* Saturday: Rest (the previous day's cardio really wiped me out)
* Sunday: 30 minutes on the recumbent bike (pulse generally ~140; max pulse 183)

Wow

Tonight I surprised and impressed even myself. After a day of not-so-hot eating (hey, it's not my fault someone put a big tasty cake in the break room!), I went to the gym and did 45 count'em 45 minutes of cardio! Not only that, but I wore my heart rate monitor and set the recumbent bike so that my pulse would be around 145 the whole time. Not only that, but at one point for about a minute I pushed it up to 183! Of course I didn't hold 183 for a minute, but it was still wild. You should have seen it. One second I was at 153 bpm, and then I increase the resistance a few levels and start pedaling a lot faster... and my pulse rose around 1 beat per second, so within a half minute I was at 183. I kept that for 15 seconds or so, and then decreased the resistance. Within a minute my pulse was back to 150 and dropping.

*Whew!* Wild, man. Wild and absolutely invigorating!

Tired progress

I went to the gym again last night. So far that makes about, oh, 4 times since Sunday? I think that's about right. Last night I worked on chest/shoulders/triceps, and by the time I was done, I lacked the strength to even take off my t-shirt in the locker room. Seriously, my muscles had failed. That's a good thing, but it also leaves me very tired as my body works to repair the muscle and make it bigger and stronger. So I didn't get enough sleep last night, and my plan to do cardio this morning was foiled (again)! I will do it tonight.

I got a pretty good surprise this morning. Pants which one month ago had been unbuttonable were buttonable today! So I think I have probably lost an inch, which is good, and it means what I am doing is working, and all I have to do is keep it up. The only thing I'm frustrated about is that last month I bought $200 worth of pants, and now they might become too loose. Dammit.

Wasted June

At the gym anoche, I asked the front desk person if their computer kept track of how often I'd gone to the gym.

Indeed it did. For this month and last month, anyway. I took a look.

Not Encouraging.

It turns out that in June, I only went to the gym five times. This is bad, for many obvious reasons, the two most important being 1) I cannot get into shape if I do not exercise, and 2) I am wasting money. The gym costs $199 for three months. So July was about $66.33. This means that each trip to the gym -- usually lasting less than an hour -- cost me a bit over $13. Now, I can think of many things I would pay $13/hour for. A good meal. Drinks with friends. Sweating at the gym is not up there.

It's weird though. I know that going to the gym and getting in shape is WORTH far more than $13 per hour. Indeed, if I could get in shape without any exercise -- just pay a lump sum and boom! I'm in shape -- I would probably pay a couple thousand dollars. That's how much it's worth to me on a perceptual basis. Yet once I have already determined that I can get in shape for the low, low price of $199 plus the cost of meals, I don't like learning that I am being jipped. What's worse is that I am the one doing the jipping.

The good news is that so far in July, I have gone to the gym three count'em three times! I told the lady at the front desk that by the time the month was out, I would rack up 20 count'em 20 times. This will require me to get there 5-6 times a week for the next few weeks. This is my plan.

In other news, I was slightly perplexed yesterday in trying to do decline dumbbell presses. Doing them is straightforward enough, but actually getting on the bench and leaning back so that I'm laying with my head at the bottom and my feet up top... that's kind of tricky, what with the heavy weights in my hand and all. Any advice?

Yesterday I attempted to eat right and exercise -- and I succeeded. Raisins, protein bar, South Beach frozen meal, protein bar... and then after work I made dinner for the family: grilled chicken breast marinated in teriyaki, with noodles, olive oil, garlic and a little curry. It was pretty good, and it was very healthy. Then I went to the gym and lifted weights, and had a grilled chicken sandwich after that. Total protein for the day was probably around 130 grams -- lower than it should be, but much better than it had been.

I don't have cravings when I eat well, and I am generally satisfied... it's just the urge to have bad, really tasty food... is strong. The dark side is strong in me. I must learn to overcome it.

I was going to do cardio in the morning, but I was far too tired, completely turning off my alarm clock in my sleep, and having weird dreams about the fireworks merged with Pistons playoffs. I blame the healthy eating.

"When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical."--Anonymous

Various family members have been telling me that I have to lose weight. It is frustrating enough when one of them does it, but in recent days they have all been doing it, jointly and severally. This is very frustrating because A) they are all very fat and have no right to tell me to lose weight when their daily diet consists of pizza and Thai and five coffees and no water and they never exercise at all and probably wouldn't even know what a Swiss ball was if they were laying on one, and B) I know I have to lose weight. I know I am chunkier than I should be. And when I know about a problem and I know that I should fix the problem and I am making vague plans to actually correct it, I rather quickly lose my temper when others make a point of making the same diagnosis and suggestions.

The extremely active fitness blogger Skwigg linked to an interesting article today about workout perserverance. I highly encourage you to read the article. I think Skwigg had a nice summary of it: "NFL quarterbacks don't go sit on the sidelines and cry and eat donuts every time they throw an interception. If you think about it, the best athletes in the world screw up all over the place. They fall down, miss serves, drop the ball, run out of bounds and don't always stick the landing. They're world class athletes not because they never make mistakes but because they succeed in spite of them."

In other words, if you make a mistake, don't throw your hands up and eat an entire pizza. Get up and keep moving.

The article made another interesting point: If you tell people you lost 2 pounds last week, they're not all that impressed. But if you tell them that you lost 100 pounds last year, well then they start pounding down your door to find out how you did it! Slow and steady is never that impressive... until it actually wins the race.